Problem is there is no correct frame on the market. They dont make one , not even close. I need a ton more reach. my bike isnt long enough. when I get to an aero position. my shoulders are over my hands on the drop bars. I need a super custom stem. to drop the stack and increase the reach. or a custom frame. Which is just not an option aka they are super expensive. My hands are always going to feel pressure because I have a lot of weight in my long torso. my inseam is 28 inchs and I am 6 ft tall. thats the average inseam for someone who is 5'3. My torso from the iliac crest to c7 is 24 inches. to put that into perspective. the avg torso for some who is 6ft. is 19 inchs. I was just looking and 24 inchs avg from L3 to c7... is the same as someone who is way 7 ft tall.... and my arms fit my torso. So my reach is like 15cm more than the avg 6ft tall person conservatory. my wing span is 6'5. so maybe a touch shorter. even the longest stems I can find are too short. I found a 220mm stem for my bike shaped object aka my beater. BTW this is a 218 build with the longest reach bars. they come with. It most likely the best sizing for me with every frame I was looking at. I did think about this build before I pulled the trigger.
Long and low is what I need. There isnt a bike long enough.
That's a seriously crazy height to inseam ratio to the point that getting a frame with custom geo would probably make a huge difference for you. My friend who is 5'5" with a 28" inseam already struggles to find bikes he can stand over. 100% see a fitter a get their recommendation. It could absolutely save you money in the long term if you're constantly trying new bike parts to get a bike to fit you better. I'll ask my former teammate who lives in LA if she can recommend a fitter. Also maybe look into Walty, they make custom Ti frames. Just get a fitter to recommend some bike geo and then give that to a frame builder. I know it's expensive but a Ti bike can last you the rest of your life. I got a Ti frame from a builder in Santa Cruz and it's been amazing. I'm a bike nerd with several bikes but I've put almost 20K miles on the Ti one since I got it in early 2020, way more miles than any of my other bikes have gotten.
Putting an ultra long stem is not an ideal solution. It'll make your weight distribution way off from how the bike was intended and will make your steering hella sluggish. Particularly relaxed geometry tends to be much more comfortable to a wider range of people. I saw it all the time with my teammates. They get into racing and eventually get a new race bike and be like, "wow I really took for granted how well my old bike fit me, this one just isn't as comfortable." and I always tell them it's not that their old bike fit was good, it's just that it was super relaxed and upright so of course it was more comfortable. If you go from something more cruiser-y to a more performance/road bike it's definitely harder to get the fit right. There is no "one perfect fit" for each individual either. My bikes all have slightly different fits, some are more relaxed, some more aggressive. The main thing that stays the same is my saddle height. I use the Mixed 5D saddle from AliExpress on most of my bikes but the more upright one has a Mixed 6D which is wider and has more padding. The part of your pelvis that makes contact with the saddle narrows as you lean forward so you tend to want narrower saddles on bikes with a lower front end. If I sit straight up, my sitbone width is like 155mm but if I lean forward it goes down to like 120mm.
I attached a screenshot from BikeGeoCalc of what a frame built for someone with your dimensions would probably look like. Take the exact numbers with a grain of salt, there where some big estimates in there. It's basically sort of "normal" geometry for an XS frame but with a super long top tube. It's extremely lightly based on my 5'5" friend's 49cm Salsa Stormchaser. He always has to size down and put longer stems on his bikes.
As a side note, I think bikes should be for everyone and it sucks how hard (and expensive) it can be to get a good bike fit when you have body proportions so far from the average.