Regarding the headset bearings, I've run them both ways. With the thicker, red in my case, bearing up top, I had to rreally crank down on the top bolt to take the play out of the steerer tube, but there was no effect on the steering stiffness at all. The headset felt decent though.
With the thinner bearing, black in my case, up top, it only took less than 1 and a half turns on the top bolt to practicallly freeze the steering, but it still left more play in the head set.
I did try the FSA headset for a minute, but it didnt feel much different than the TanTan headset with the black.
up top and red down below. I'm running the TanTan now with black top red bottom because it's the last combo I tried and I got tired or messing with it. It's a bit flexy but it is fine.