Wow, I've never heard of anyone having so much trouble setup wheels and running tubeless. I've had generally good experiences lately, however, when I first started I chose Mavic UST rims and Hutchinson Python tires. Back then nobody was running any sealant, UST does not need any sealant as the bead of the tire makes an air tight seal on the rim and a UST rim has a rim strip to cover the spoke holes. The only problem I had with the UST system was how hard the tire was to get on the rim, fought quite a bit even with two tire levers. With UST the recommendation is not to use any tire levers so you don't damage the bead. Biggest drawback to UST is the weight, the tire is heavier, the rim is heavier.
My more recent UST experiences have been with tubeless compatible rims, meaning the rim has a bead hook shape to help grab the tire bead. Stan's yellow tape, Stan's valves, and Stan's sealant. 5 bikes later(all with different brands of rims & tires), I still use basically the same setup but like Orange Sealant more than Stan's. I've not ridden for over two months now so the tires on both my Chiners are flat and I will need to add new sealant to help them hold air, although the tire beads are well seated to the rim so I could probably just air up the tires and they should hold air for a few days.
My only thought for your situation is you need to have a good set of mfr certified tubeless compatible rims and tires. What you have been working with may be neither and that's why you can't get tubeless to work for you. Have you watched the videos on the Stan's Notubes.com website? If you have a rim that locks the tire bead and has good rim tape or rim strips to seal the spoke holes, along with a tire that is of good quality (not Vee Rubber as I understand it), you should have a very easy time of going tubeless.