The first statement (credit card charging 4.5% even with F&F) seems quite unordinary, or at least quite specific to your own case. My own provider never charged me more than the amount I sent for F&F.
Do you have ta source/example of your claim?
Yeah, on payment fees, I use Revolut, usually, and they charge me.... i dont remember how much for SWIFT wires. I have the option to pay 2 kinds of fees (often the seller asks for more because of these variable SWIFT fees, because they want to make sure they get the invoice amount in their account). Anyway. I think it costs me 10-20$ for a SWIFT. 15/600 is 2.5%. If you spend more, given the fee is (from memory) flat, it goes down.
If you're shrewd, you can also sometimes pay via wechat.
There are many ways to skin a cat.
I do my very best never to use paypal for anything anymore. I hate them with a passion. As a European, their fees & overall incompetence are just insulting to me.