now My sit bone measurements are 130-140mm... and the saddle is 145 wide... I think its more the issue. Being thats where I am feeling pressure. though...I need to slam the handlebars at some point.
This is the bit that gives me pause. I remember you talking about a 50mm or 70mm spacer for your bike. Unless you have a shoulder injury or impingement, once you get to the correct saddle position, you should be able to work with a range of combinations of spacers and stem lengths without altering your back angle. In other words, getting rid of spacers should enable you to move back into a long but not crazy long front-end arrangement.
If this hasn't happened yet, I would strongly suggest you resolve this before you spend more money on parts. The reason is that your fit affects pelvic rotation, which in turn determines how wide a saddle you need relative to your sitbone measurements, which are usually not taken on the bike. The second is that getting the right fit will affect your saddle position and relative weight distribution between contact points.
Regarding frames, yeah, with your proportions, it could end up being less than ideal. However, there are relatively affordable custom geometries from Waltly (Ti) or Marino (Steel), but there are frames like the "FRMAE" frame that is on Aliexpress (also as the Airwolf YFR039) that is about 30mm longer reach for stack than your current frame if you can find the right size. It also takes a round seat post and has a relatively small seat post height for the reach.