I think it depends what you're looking for but personally I'd go for the Mondince since it seems to have the biggest tire clearance of those three. Where I live, gravel biking is basically just underbiking on MTB trails so being able to fit big tires is a must. That rules out the Graro and VB options for me. The Mondince one does have a really low BB which sort of implies that it's really meant for bigger tires and you might actually be risking scraping the BB a bit more if you run smaller tires.
"looks more like a race bike" vs "race bike" can be two different things. If looks is the important part, pretty much any frame with some deep rims and big, knobby tires usually looks pretty cool and race-like. If you really want performance, I'd say investing in good wheels and tires is more important than the frame. Get whatever frame has the features and looks you like the best (do you want: downtube storage, big tire clearance, aero tube profiles, lighter weight, custom paint options, yes/no fork mounts, fully integrated cables, high/low stack, price point, shorter wheelbase, etc.)
I see ICAN has this "newest gravel frameset":
https://www.icanbikes.com/Products-list/newest-carbon-gravel-frameset-with-udh-g9/it looks just like the graro and has the same tire clearance but also includes downtube storage. Maybe that could be another option for you.