I kind of get that response, he is making a living figuring these things out and providing support. That said, it wouldn't be my response. Some of their other bikes appear to use Deda headsets so my guess would be either that or the headset cover that came with the handlebar if that was provided.
Before worrying about ordering new stuff, I would fully install everything with the proper preload and then evaluate the gap. Unfortunately i think 1-2mm is considered normal. In every bike forum catering to mainstream brands there is a thread about Treks and 2mm gaps that show expose the upper bearing. Even showed up on test bikes.